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I Can’t Stop Spatchcocking!

SPATCHCOCK
Sappy

Have you been forced to read one of those goofy inspirational quotes at the end of somebody’s email signature - that preaches to you about delayed gratification? It goes something like, “The longer you wait for something, the more you’ll appreciate it when you get it. Because anything worth having is definitely worth the waiting.” Yadda yadda yadda….

Ya, it’s one of the longer quotes out there, and yep I’ve seen it more than a dozen times - and I really didn’t think twice about the message it was trying to convey. I’ve always been the type of person that hopped on Amazon and ordered whatever I wanted without really thinking about lighting my credit card up. Instant purchasing power and 2-day shipping is a wicked combination.

Despite my tendency to consistently hit submit my order, there was one purchase that I had been dragging my feet on for over 2 years - and I finally pulled the trigger.

Now I’m totally living that quote - I waited - I purchased - I’m giddy.

It was SO worth the wait!

For the longest time, I had been lusting for one of those pellet smoker grills that seem to be all the rage in the cooking community. I’d stop and look at them every time I was at Lowe’s or Cabela’s, much to my wife’s chagrin. I’d repeat all the benefits of owning one and cooking on it. I’d explain how it regulates the perfect temperature and making sure not to forget to highlight the included meat probe. I became the perfect pitchman to a random passersby in the store. I even think the guys at the Stock Show knew me by the first name because every year I’d wander into their booth and slowly run my hands over their meat furnaces.

I really wanted one.

CHicken

My inner circle of bro buddies purchased their own pellet grills and raved about how great the food was they had been cooking. Sending me daily #FoodPorn pics of brisket and chicken wings. All while I quietly debated on whether or not to spend the money on something that really was a WANT and not a NEED. I tucked some money back in an envelope that I had in my safe and every once in a while thumbed through the stack of 20’s wondering if my seductive smoker would be worth the wait and the money.

After patiently waiting all that time I can proudly say that with a resounding YES - it was totally worth the wait. I cook on it every night now - my food tastes better and cooking has become super fun! I spend hours on YouTube researching the perfect rubs and marinades. I’ve also discovered that I’m addicted to spatchcocking. I spend my afternoons dreaming of spatchcocking, wondering when I can spatchcock next.

I’ve become quite the spatchcocking pro!

Instagram groups are liking MY #FoodPorn pics now, and the grill company even followed me and showcased some of my meaty masterpieces on their account. I’m beaming with happiness right now, and I have to wonder if all this hullabaloo would have been non-existent if I had made the grill purchase spontaneously.

I’m all in on this embracing, waiting, and daydreaming lifestyle. So far it’s proving to be the more well-done way to go! 



Take a listen to a funny clip from the show where we discussed my love of spatchcocking!


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Stop Calling Me "SIR"

SIR

I guess I’m either really uncomfortable with aging or I’m just deep down NOT a morning person – but the security guard in our building has me super irritated lately. It all comes down to one word… “SIR” and it’s not sitting well with me. I’ve always been under the impression that using that title was reserved for a man with years and years and YEARS of life experience or a man that has held a position of great prestige or respect. You know, police officers, doctors, firefighters, Sean Connery.

Someone with some sort of authority – not a goofy radio dude wandering into the radio studio with crusty goo still in his eye.

Before you freak out on me - I understand that “sir” is a term of endearment and used for general social politeness aka – social lubricant – BUT it’s not for me. It makes me feel old and super awkward. Would it be acceptable for me to tell Paul Blart to stop calling me that or do I just go with the flow and politely nod as I saunter past the security desk?

Turned out to be a pretty funny discussion on the Dom and Jeremy show – especially when it came to alternate ideas on what we should call guys - take a listen.


Damn Girl I'm Thirsty

Thirsty

In an effort to keep you in the know AND to understand what in the world your pimply face teenager is talking about – so-called “experts” have released a list of the top slang terms that you might be hearing if you accidentally wander into a Forever 21. 

A few of these are new to me like the slang term “tea” or “spilling the tea.”  It’s basically the 2019 way of saying that you’re gossiping about someone – or talking behind their back.  Example: “did you hear that Tina in HR has like 9 cats at her house – she’s SO gross” or “I hear Brent in the accounting department loves to fill his bellybutton with Nutella, he’s such a weirdo.”

 See, I totally spilled some tea there.

 Or how about the expression "Gucci"?  It basically just means good - so if you really like something you say that it’s “Gucci.” Example: “OH mama this Hot-Pocket is SO Gucci”!

 I think I’m using it correctly.

 Focusing on the audio clip below, one of the teen terms on the list was “thirsty” and for some reason, this one hit my funny bone pretty hard. If you’re over 30 and not familiar “thirsty” either means you desperately want approval OR desperately want to get it on with someone in an R-rated way. Bow chicka wow wow!  The latter definition is what really got us laughing on the morning show; and of course a little role-playing was in order.

 If you’re “thirsty” for some laughs check out the audio below from the Dom and Jeremy show – it’s damn “Gucci.”



Fitness Persuasion

Fitness

“NEW YEAR NEW ME”

If you ever hear me spew out that goofy line - please go full Bruce Lee and punch me directly in the throat. I won’t even be mad.

I’m not one of those people that regurgitates the same scripted cliche at the beginning of each new year. I’m also not a resolutions kinda guy either - but with all that being said - I am making some “lifestyle choices” that will affect my overall well-being in 2019.

One of my choices is to ditch my current gym membership because I’ve been going to the same joint for over 20 years. Seeing the same people and the same equipment for that long has greatly diminished my motivation to get a solid upper body workout. Not a fan of leg day. Toothpicks.

So, it’s time for a little gym shopping and luckily a fancy new facility just opened up near my house. I was super excited to start fresh, meet new people and get my fitness on. Grunt grunt - spot me.

I was in a pretty peppy mood when I went in for the consultation… peppy until I heard what they had to say about their fitness program and the personal training staff. I was fed a line (multiple times) that is guaranteed to be in their corporate training manual.

Check out the clip from the Dom and Jeremy show below. Enjoy!